I feel weird reading this…

Boiled down, a narcissist only really thinks of themselves, even though they give the allusion that they think of others. 

The narcissist doesn’t view other people as individuals who are living by their own set of beliefs. The narcissist simply knows only that they are living the one and only “correct way” and thusly, by default, other people are doing it wrong, or haven’t been taught to do it their way yet.

To a narcissist, other people are just extensions of themselves. If a narcissist’s loved one succeeds or fails, the narcissist takes full credit or fault. In other words, it is always about them and not anyone else.

When you are with a narcissist you are never doing things quite right unless you are doing things exactly the way they want. For this reason, being involved with a narcissist for a long period of time can lead to severe self doubt and low confidence.

Self doubt is not just a byproduct of being around a narcissist’s behavior, it is actually their intention. They create this self doubt because they feed off of it to grow their own confidence and self importance.

Narcissists are control freaks and they understand deeply that when someone’s self confidence is low they are easier to control. A low confidence person seeks approval and validation from those that appear to be full of confidence and answers.

A narcissist creates a persona of infallibility and perfection. Even though their confidence is ego based and unnatural, it is still alluring all the same. This high confidence lands many narcissists in positions of power and importance.

The confidence of a narcissist is attractive to many people. After all, most humans have an inherent desire to please and be validated. To most people, the sheer “confidence” of a narcissist is something they are seeking out and want to learn.

What a narcissist hates the most is a person that has a developed an earned confidence in themselves. Someone who respects themselves and all others. Someone who does not put up with a narcissists negativity or disrespect and knows how to call it out without stooping to their level. This type of person will confidently ask how they expect to be treated and set up boundaries and stick to them.

All of these things are kryptonite to a narcissist. They hate it.

This healthy way of living that narcissists hate takes a lot of work and highlights the narcissists shortcut to confidence/power. It exposes the fact that the narcissist needs to work on themselves and develop healthier coping mechanisms. That they need to go inward and reflect on themselves as opposed to trying to control their surroundings and every person in their life.

When you begin to develop these healthy habits and exercise them on a narcissist or any variant of a negative person, they will typically double down on their tactics to lower your confidence. It may not happen, but expect it.

Narcissist’s are not known for admitting any wrongdoing. They will blame you to the end and always try to find new ways to trigger you or lower your confidence.

It is doubtful that a narcissist will reflect and change so usually you can only learn better ways to interact and deal with them. Remember that a narcissist may or may not be aware of what they are doing and how it is affecting others, but in the end, the resulting effect it has on other people is the same.

Additionally, it is a futile effort and waste of time to try to find out if a narcissist is aware of his negative tactics or not, because it is only them than can admit it to themselves in the end. We can not read their mind.

Overall, it is important to remember that hurt people hurt people. That you can treat people with love even if they are sending you hate. That if you truly care about a narcissist or any toxic person, you will respect them enough not to enable their bad behavior, but instead, challenge them to grow and develop into someone that you and others can have a more meaningful and mutually respectful relationship with.

After all, we are all in this together and we are only as strong as our weakest link. Even though we can’t help everyone, we can respect ourselves and others enough to keep trying.